so I dont forget....

1. Karlee: "mom, do you know any farmers?"
me: "grandpa used to be a farmer"
Karlee: "were you a farmer when you were a little girl"
me: "yup, I guess I was"
Karlee: "was I in your tummy then?"
me: "no, I was just a little girl so you couldnt be in my tummy yet"
Karlee: "Oh yeah, that was when I still lived with God..(pause) Boy that was sure fun!!"

2. Karlee says randomly from the back seat one day: "Did you know God's middle name is Jesus mom???"

3. Karlee: "I never want to go to private school evah"
me: "I went to private school when I was little"
Karlee: (completely horrified) you did????
me: "Yeah, it just means that there are smaller classes and you can learn about Jesus and stuff"
Karlee: "I NEVER want to go to private school"
me: "why not?"
Karlee: "Because I not want anyone to see my privates mom!!!!!"
4. Karlee: "Mommy, can I use crabby patties on my feet so I can skate??"

Green!

To celebrate St. Patricks Day we made an all green dinner: Broccoli, green jello, green alfredo noodles, sprite to drink, and of course green rice krispie treats! The girls were a little freaked out about the green noodles at first (and actually so was I because they were sooooo BRIGHT!) but after one taste we were all fine...the only thing that didnt get turned green is the chicken because I thought that just might be too weird LOL!! The dinner was a big hit and was super fun to do! (I may need some more green food coloring for Christmas though) Not quite sure why we were all about St. Patricks Day this year....we're not even Irish---but it sure was fun! Hope yours was great as well!

Welcome to the World....

You were not even born 24 hours ago and I love you so much already! You are perfect and beautiful in every way and I am so happy that all the prayers and worry have paid off and you are finally here! Your mommy is healthy and you are now a part of one of the best families I have ever known....I happen to think that daddy of yours is a pretty special guy...I have known him his whole life and I have never seen him more proud than I did today when I met you for the first time. He is head over heels in love with you already and it shows all over his face and it makes me love him even more! He will be the best daddy to you and your big sister because his family means more to him than anything little one....you are a lucky, lucky little girl.



Your mommy looked absolutely gorgeous today. I could not even believe she just had you a few hours before I came to see you and she is already in love with you more than you can possibly know. You will understand it someday, a long time from now, when you are holding one of your own little babies in your arms, but I can see by the look on her face how much she loves you and how happy she is that you are here. You are lucky two times over to have such wonderful parents sweetie; and I am lucky to be able to watch it all and be a part of your life from the very very beginning!

I love you like one of my own and I hope you know I would do anything, yes ANYTHING, for you and will always be here for you! You are such a precious little sweet pea and I am so excited to be your auntie! I think your cousins are pretty excited too because they all fought over who got to hold you tonight when we came in again and they all prayed for you tonight at bedtime....and Rylee will probably bug me every day until we see you again because she says you are her "baby friend".

This much I know Miss Madeline, you are loved....very very loved. Welcome to the world!!

How do I do it all???

I think that I am asked this question nearly every week without fail and so in all fairness and honesty I am going to tell you how....I dont. Something always feels like it is being neglected at any given time and I have struggled for years with not having any time to myself...we are talking NO TIME at all to myself.

Recently in the past month I have had a pretty major meltdown because I just could not continue on the way things were...I hit a wall---HARD. I wont go into details about it because honestly, it is much much much too long to type out and much too personal to really share. I think my point in sharing anything at all is this; NOTHING is as perfect as it seems and EVERYONE out there struggles with things. I can honestly say that the past month was probably one of the darkest times in my life which was unbelievably hard for me because I am a happy person by nature. I can recall only two other times in my life when I have felt as low as I have been and it always is amazing to me that through these trials of life I find out who my true friends really are...the ones who really love me for who I am, even when they know my struggles. One VERY special person summed it up perfectly for me and that is that we all need a "safe place" and there are people in our lives who are, and sadly there are people in our lives who are not. I am lucky that I actually do feel I have some "safe places" because quite honestly, I would not be doing well right now at all if I didnt have them and for those of you who are I want you to know how much it means to me and how much you helped me and how much I love you.

During trials and struggles is when we grow the most and honestly, I dread these times something fierce. I will however, always be thankful for being able to focus on the good that comes out of these times and I will also be thankful for what I have learned and who I can trust. Lastly, I will make it a goal of mine to be a "safe place" for those I love and care about because I think in friendship that is the most important thing that can ever exist.

I am in a better place now, the struggles are still there but for me the darkness is gone and I am moving forward. I am human. I cant do it all (without making myself certifiably insane), but I do know that I can make it.